You know...February wasn't at all too bad. My weekends this month have been incredible. On Saturday the ninth I went to New York with Katie and she ended up meeting my folks and the jerks as well. The Saturday after that we went to the University of Pennsylvania for our district conclave. It was great to meet brothers from other chapters and learn about what they do in their chapters. This weekend of course was THON 2008. Just like last year it was amazing, but this time the dancers were people I have been friends with for a good part of my college career. Me and Micah decided to spend the night at Bryce Jordan Center instead of going to the hotel, which was crazy because we really were like the dancers and had no idea what time it was. We did the line dance many times, sung and danced to songs we sure as hell knew we hated (my favorite being Adam suffering through "Blue") and met cool people such as my potential neighbors next semester and Gwen, who I'll refer to as "Micah's friend". Another great Penn State weekend.
-Mikhail
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
This Texas Ranger Doesn’t Play Baseball
With the rise of the Internet no one person has been given hero status more in the past three years than Chuck Norris. Before I became familiar with Chuck Norris in his current form, I found myself in one of the many dojos where he practiced in Harlem. His hero status has been assumed since he started appearing in his own feature films during the 70s where he of course roundhouse kicks fiends and takes names. In the 80s he had a cartoon show where he lead a team of a couple of kids and a helpful sumo wrestler pal fighting a crazy ninja and some dude with a freakish golden claw. In the 90s Chuck was Walker, Texas Ranger, who was fighting crime (while selling home gym systems at that) when Texas was having some serious issues apparently…for eight years too. Well in this decade Chuck Norris is now a supernatural being that until about two months ago, was greater than God.
One characteristic of the rise of Chuck is his continuous gain of power, which of course was helped by immense training, but was enhanced with the powers of his facial hair. The rise of this hero starts with a really big fall inn a fight scene with Bruce Lee. Not only does Bruce Lee beat him to death, he had hair ripped right off of his chest! In the 1980s he had a mustache while fighting ninjas in The Octagon. While on his Texas Ranger stint he had a full beard hiding another fist. Back to the Bruce Lee fight, no mustache...just wimpy sideburns.
In 2005, Chuck Norris became a phenomenon once again because people were learning more and more about what a brute, unforgiving force he was to humans, nature and pretty much the entire universe. Our beloved crime fighting Texan was not only striking fear into the eyes of criminals, but everything alive…maybe even dead in some cases. The Chuck Norris facts became an amazing hit and of course Chuck Norris being the man he is acknowledged the jokes and was willing to laugh at his own awesomeness.
Unfortunately it was time for another fall, when Chuck Norris decided to show that maybe God actually does have more power than what Chuck Norris gave to him. He began running ads to promote Bible study in schools, which of course to many shows that Chuck Norris may be a God fearing man, but he can snap your neck faster than you can blink. In late 2007, he sued a book publisher for releasing a book of the mythological Chuck Norris facts, which of course makes the threat of “Don’t F*** with Chuck” true because he’ll sue your ass.
Well now that that’s taken care of Chuck Norris has teamed with Mike Huckabee in a line of ads including “Huck-Chuck” facts, which were of course “Chuck Norris Approved”. By the way, this paper would not exist had Harry Truman decided to use the atomic bomb instead of use Chuck Norris, since it was more humane.
-Mikhail
With the rise of the Internet no one person has been given hero status more in the past three years than Chuck Norris. Before I became familiar with Chuck Norris in his current form, I found myself in one of the many dojos where he practiced in Harlem. His hero status has been assumed since he started appearing in his own feature films during the 70s where he of course roundhouse kicks fiends and takes names. In the 80s he had a cartoon show where he lead a team of a couple of kids and a helpful sumo wrestler pal fighting a crazy ninja and some dude with a freakish golden claw. In the 90s Chuck was Walker, Texas Ranger, who was fighting crime (while selling home gym systems at that) when Texas was having some serious issues apparently…for eight years too. Well in this decade Chuck Norris is now a supernatural being that until about two months ago, was greater than God.
One characteristic of the rise of Chuck is his continuous gain of power, which of course was helped by immense training, but was enhanced with the powers of his facial hair. The rise of this hero starts with a really big fall inn a fight scene with Bruce Lee. Not only does Bruce Lee beat him to death, he had hair ripped right off of his chest! In the 1980s he had a mustache while fighting ninjas in The Octagon. While on his Texas Ranger stint he had a full beard hiding another fist. Back to the Bruce Lee fight, no mustache...just wimpy sideburns.
In 2005, Chuck Norris became a phenomenon once again because people were learning more and more about what a brute, unforgiving force he was to humans, nature and pretty much the entire universe. Our beloved crime fighting Texan was not only striking fear into the eyes of criminals, but everything alive…maybe even dead in some cases. The Chuck Norris facts became an amazing hit and of course Chuck Norris being the man he is acknowledged the jokes and was willing to laugh at his own awesomeness.
Unfortunately it was time for another fall, when Chuck Norris decided to show that maybe God actually does have more power than what Chuck Norris gave to him. He began running ads to promote Bible study in schools, which of course to many shows that Chuck Norris may be a God fearing man, but he can snap your neck faster than you can blink. In late 2007, he sued a book publisher for releasing a book of the mythological Chuck Norris facts, which of course makes the threat of “Don’t F*** with Chuck” true because he’ll sue your ass.
Well now that that’s taken care of Chuck Norris has teamed with Mike Huckabee in a line of ads including “Huck-Chuck” facts, which were of course “Chuck Norris Approved”. By the way, this paper would not exist had Harry Truman decided to use the atomic bomb instead of use Chuck Norris, since it was more humane.
-Mikhail
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